It's time

Ok guys, the time has come. It's time to Rock this Party. Let's get out there and start summer. Snow is going and temps are soaring (kind of). And one important part of summer- the seeds start spitting. Let's make this a great summer. If you don't believe me it's summer . . . look outside your window. See . . . .? Almost no snow. Come on, off the couch. Let's go . . . and get this party rocking!
I know this is dumb but I am ready to go for summer.

See last post.

Family system

Greetings to my readers. It is a beautiful day today. Granted, it is only 8 AM right now. It's still gorgeous. It's sunny and chilly, and not a cloud in the sky. I thought I would post. I could take pictures of the weather outside but what would that accomplish? You can all look outside and see the wonderful weather. Now go enjoy it. Seriously, go do it. Go on GIT!

Closure

I think I have finally achieved what I have been questing for: acception. To what? Well, lookie here. I never thought it possible but it's true. This is pretty funny too. Is it me or does this look strangely familiar? I like Coke!

Resolution

I think I have a conclusion to my dilemma (see previous post). I remembered that Al Franken (remember him? He was on SNL a long time ago. I bet his campaign slogan is going to be: Vote Franken in 2006. He's good enough, he's smart enough and gosh darn it people like him.") is a Democrat. That may be punishment enough. So I thought some more and concluded the best revenge to take is to take no revenge at all. Weak? I know, but I figure that my vote for Coleman will be enough to kick them in the pants. Oh wait, the emails were for Mike Hatch. I am confident people will go to the polls and be like me, "Who is Mike Hatch? Is he the guy who played Charles on 'Charles in Charge'? No, that was Scott Baio. Why isn't he running for office? He's gotta be like 40 now. I'd vote for Charles."

They have to be that dumb.

So once or twice a week I receive an email from Mike Hatch. Who is it? He's the numbskull who plans to run against my local hero in the next gubernatorial race. I have asked the people who run the campaign to take me off of their email list. No luck. I told them there was no chance in me voting for their joke of a candidate (my words exactly). Still they come. I've told them I'm a super-staunch conservative Republican. And yet, everytime I check my email there their junk sits. Waiting to be beleated. . . Delated. . . deleted. I am all out of ideas on what else to tell them. I've thought of sending them an application to join the RNC.

2 was bad enough but now 3?

I just read that the Vikings have finished the 3rd worst trade in NFL history. The Herschel Walker trade was bad enough. Randy convinced me that they would never commit to a bad trade again. Alas, number 3 came along today. Duante Culpepper to the Dolphins for a 2nd round pick. I am sickened by it. I am convinced that Vikings top-brass could be the worst deal makers ever. They were the kids in elementary school who would trade a pizza for an apple. Or even better they'd trade you a Coke for an old discarded milk carton. These are teh men who make the worst draft picks too. "Ahh, yeah Paul, we'll take Chris Hovan. No one else is looking at him so we may have as well snatch him up. I mean he doesn't have any talent for SACKING THE QUARTERBACK but he is fast off the ball and he does amuse us. He does look like Chief Wiggum after all." "What's that Al Davis? You want us to trade you the greatest wide-receiver in the NFL and in return you'll give us an over-hyped, over-paid linebacker who can't cover? I don't know you'll have to include a first round draft pick with that. I mean we won't use the guy but it looks better on paper. Thanks." Am I bitter about these trades? Darn right I am. I can't even figure out the Herschel Walker trade because God is still scratching His head trying to figure it out.

Dumb

Ok let me start this post out by saying that Cherry Coke and I have reconciled and are doing well. (I am a nerd!)
I have been in Academia for a long time (Academia- the wonderful name I have for school). I have seen those who can't grasp the concept of writing termpapers. I have dealt with those who cannot read well. I have seen those who have no clue when it comes to solving quadratic equations. I have even seen people who have no artistic talent, whatsoever (myself included). I have also seen the same people who have a "gifting" in another area. The area: women. The individuals can't read a book but they can read women like one. I have no gift in this field. I cannot tell when a woman likes me or not. I've pondered on whether it's instinct or pure knowledge. I've concluded that it's instinctive (that's not to say that math, writing, art, or reading are instinctive.). It's not something that can be taught in school for college credit. Even when Kelly and I had a thing (I hate bringing up Kelly again, but it's the only example I have.), it was not me that figured out she liked me. Rather, it was my brother's friend to point it out (He is not gifted in academics. His gifting is in women). I've determined that a man's gifts come in 3 areas. 1. School, 2.Sports, and 3. Women. Rebuttle . . . .

Labeling

I want to take this time to apologize to an old friend of mine. He has always been a good friend of mine. Unfortunately, his outer appearance has changed. I have ridiculed him beyond reason. He is the same person on the inside. I've called him words like "gay" and "freakishly ugly". Last night, I realized my error. So to my old friend: I apologize for my words and attitude toward you. You are still a good person. While your outside has changed the inside remains the same. And I still love you even if you are "gay". You are still better than your cousin who is just a freak of nature.

Playa

I am in mourning this morning. I lost a childhood hero. This is the player that gave me an interest in baseball. I would always demand to be Kirby in pick-up games. To me, he will always be the greatest player in Twins history.
It has become even more evident to me that the media is controlled by satan. It doesn't matter how good of a life you live, how popular you are, how close you are to God; there will be some medium to take note of your biggest follies. I overlook them. We all waver and fall short of the glory of God. Who are we to take note and keep a ledger of others' mistakes?
Personally, I will miss the man, the legend, my childhood hero. I will always remember his game 6 performance of the 1991 WS. That is Kirby to me. And one last time: Starting at centerfield #34 KIR-beeeeeeeeee PUCK-it."

(the video may take a few minutes to load but it's well worth it.)

Parity & Parody

I don't really have anything on my mind. I don't even have a thought buzzing through the thick skull of mine. . . . . . . . . . . . . Sometimes it's a blessing not to be concerned with junk. I would like to think that is how God intends for us to be. . . . . . . . . . This may be a poor habit I learned as a child. I was never concerned with life. I've always been the cool cat. . . . . . . . . . I should be concerned with school matters but I just don't care. I feel Eden was designed as a place for us to have fun. It's an archaic Valley Fair. I really, really, don't have a thing on my mind. So, "Peace out, Homies!"

Grooming

I've been deep in thought the last few days. What constitutes "deep in thought"? I don't know. I'm normally not a deep person. The deepest I get is when I go swimming. (It a joke; get it?) Back on track . . . I've been deep in thought about a sort of grooming that occurs. I don't refer to personal grooming; more of a social/relational grooming.
My stepsister has suggested to me in the past that if I intend to enter marriage one day; I have to succumb to the female gender's social grooming. "What do you mean?" I queried. She told me that women look for a guy who is willing to adapt to her sense of nature. For instance, a girl is looking for a guy that she can play dress up with, is willing to take interests in what she has interests in, and is willing to subject himself to emotional movies. I've conducted a small study among my friends both married and dating. The results seem conclusive to the hypothesis. (I won't mention the names of the subjects.)
To sum it all up: If I am to enter marriage or any sort of romantic relationship, I have a few things to change about myself. I have to dress so bad that women feel a need to dress me up. I also have to take interests that girls have (e.g. shopping and make-up). I also have to start exposing myself to the genre so commonly referred to as "Chickimus flickimas". According to my stepsister’s advice that should give me all I need right?

These are the time that try men's souls

Today is March 1st. (see it says so ^^^ somewhere). We've endured through 5 months of snow. We only have 2 more to go. This is the time of year when Minnesota weather becomes the craziest. I don't refer to my level of craziness; rather the level of those people who move to Montana for the nature. It's a cloudy day, moderately warm, kind of windy. I've seen many grey skies in the past months. I'd like to say the new coverage brings hope; hope for a new tomorrow. But I think we all know full well what those clouds bring: more snow. My very first post was about ways to have fun in the snow. I've added a few other ways to have fun. So here is a new list . . .

Put some lawn furniture and sit outside in shorts and t-shirts with long-johns showing. Drink some Coke and order some Chinese.

Take up winter golf. Paint a series purple & bright green circles out in your yard and hit orange golf balls at it.

Get a keg of rootbeer and shovel off a deck. Then invite a bunch of people over and have a bbq.

Get a group of friends and go caroling outside old peoples' houses. But don't sing Christmas songs; sing Easter/spring songs.

That's all I could come up with. I do accept other suggestions. The whole winter thing is getting old now. I say we start acting like it's summer. Get out there and have some fun!